1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? 2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?
“Absolutely not. I like to be as surprised by what I’m about to say as the next person. Thinking about it first would ruin everything.”
4. What would constitute a perfect day for you?
“The day would start with Channing Tatum arriving at my door with a giant check for a million dollars. He then makes me a pot of coffee, sits me down on the sofa, and proceeds to re-enact the big dance scene from Magic Mike. After stuffing a bunch of one’s in his shorts, I shoo him away, but not before he runs me a bubble bath made of heated champagne. Is this too much? I feel like I could go further…”
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
“I sing in the shower. You should know that about me. And I sing while I change diapers, though I don’t expect to be doing that much in here.”
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?
“How is this a question? Body. Who the hell wants to be a 30-year old trapped in a 90-year old’s body?”
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
“Ignoring the obvious predicament? I always thought I’d die in the most ridiculous way, like choking on a marshmallow.”
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
“Apparently we’re not immune to chloroform, both dislike green beans, and neither of us seem to know what the fuck is going on.”
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
“Honestly? The ability to walk. Mobility is such a simple thing people take for granted and after my dad got hurt, I… I don’t know. I don’t ever take a step for granted.”
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell you partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
“I was born and raised as an only child. My parents were high school sweethearts, which put an unholy amount of pressure on me to find ‘the one’ when I was a teenager. I liked California but always felt like I was supposed to be an East Coast girl. When Dad deployed that last time and the phone call came in…
I have two lives. The one before and the one after. The one before was great and I’m spending the one after trying to pick up the pieces and make sense of what’s left.”
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
“Assuming we’ll get out of this situation alive? I’d like to know the winning results of every major sporting event for the next ten years. Pull a Back to the Future and get filthy rich by gambling on sure things.”
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
“I’m still waiting for my dream season in the mountains. I want to wake up every day, strap on my board, and flow down the slopes. Apparently life has other plans for me.”
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
“I’m pretty young still, so I’m gonna have to say allowing some people to carry on living.”
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
“Privacy and someone who is willing to hold my hair back while I’m puking.”
17. What is your most treasured memory?
“My dad carrying me on his shoulders. He’s let me steer him through the crowds by twisting his head right or left. I loved being so tall.”
18. What is your most terrible memory?
“The phone call.”
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
“The way I’m living right this second? Um, yes. I’d like to get the fuck out of here. But aside from the whole kidnapping thing, I think I’d be pretty happy with the way things are. I might take more chances because if I know I’m going to die suddenly, it’s not really a surprise, is it?”
20. What does friendship mean to you?
“Family you choose.”
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
“Jesus, I hate this one. Honestly? Love and affection… sheesh. Accept and receive just enough people don’t think I’m a robot, but never enough I might get hurt. Is that honest enough?”
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
“Me, Mom, and Dad were close before because we genuinely liked one another. Now, it’s more a sense of obligation. Liz and Bryan are like the friends and parents I never had. But yeah, I had a good childhood.”
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
“Ugh! I’m starting to appreciate her more as a flawed human being than this ‘idea’ or something. She doesn’t know everything, isn’t capable of everything, and that’s hard to accept at first. But I think the time apart is giving me an appreciation for how much she does.”
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “we are both in this room feeling…”
“We are being held against our will. We would both like to order a pizza. We both want to be done with this ridiculous game.”
26. Complete this sentence “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”
“I wish I had someone with whom I could share a bag of Skittles because I can’t stand the green ones anymore. Who the hell wants sour apple?”
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them: be honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
“I like how comfortable you make me feel. You have an air about you that… I don’t know. Like, you’re so sure of yourself and where you fit in the world that I start to feel that way too.”
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
“My first period. I got it way before we’d had any puberty talks, so I literally thought I was dying. I remember waking up one morning, seeing blood in my little cotton underwear, and running to my dad. Poor man thought I was dying too.”
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
“What? Like, two hours ago? And by myself… I can’t remember.”
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
“What is with these questions? Jeez. Um, I like your hair. It’s all floppy and casual in a way that probably takes a long time to perfect.”
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
“Nothing. Humor is the only way I think we can cope. Even the darkest moments in life have something to laugh about.”
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
“I don’t think anything, really. If everyone is safe and accounted for, then that’s all that matters. Everything else can be replaced.”
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
“The kids. Because obviously, they’re just kids.”
36. While on a trip to another city, your spouse/lover meets and spends a night with an exciting stranger. Given that they will never meet again, and you could never otherwise learn of the incident, would you want your partner to tell you about it?
“No. It’s selfish. Telling me wouldn’t change the past. It would only be a way for them to try to get over the guilt. If there really was no chance of it ever happening again, I wouldn’t want to know.”